As mamas, many of us seek out helpful resources when we are struggling personally and as parents. For example, how many of us read Oklahoma City Mom articles to gain insight and perspective into the parenting world?
If we as mamas need these resources, it stands to reason our children do as well.
This is where the concept of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) comes in. The Oklahoma State Department of Education describes SEL as “the process through which children and adults understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.”
Oklahoma is among several states where bills targeting SEL have been proposed. If SEL is designed to help students to better navigate their academic and personal/social lives, why is it considered to be problematic enough to limit the use of certain funds for it?
I reached out to some mama friends who are also educators to better understand SEL from their perspective. A.M. is an elementary school music teacher. A.R. is an elementary school counselor. C.R. is a high school science teacher. Quotes were edited for clarity and brevity.
Each educator described SEL and the role it plays in their teaching.
A.M.: “My teaching philosophy is to teach children how to be caring, thoughtful, considerate, productive members of society THROUGH music. SEL naturally occurs in my music class. it is virtually impossible to exclude SEL when teaching anything.”
A.R.: “As a school counselor, social-emotional learning is educating the whole child to understand their mind, their heart, and how to relate to others. Teaching children how to solve problems, cope with feelings, and deal with conflict within themselves and [with] others are major building blocks to help them develop skills that are needed for the rest of their life.”
C.R.: “SEL is about seeing a kid struggling during class and helping them learn to take a break, get a drink of water, find a way to calm themselves, and then come back; it’s about meeting the needs of the kids in our classroom instead of just being focused on the end result of the curriculum.”
Kids struggle with personal, social, and emotional issues that may hinder learning. School counselor A.R. shared some of these challenges: “the student who just experienced a loss (death, incarceration, deployment, etc) and is now expected to focus on a new math skill; the student that is the subject of a rumor that is rampant in their entire grade due to social media; the student that doesn’t know how to make and keep friends.”
High school science teacher, C.R., also sees how her students struggle and she applies SEL into her classroom: “If they’re hungry – I have food. If they need to talk – I have a chair at my desk. In class, we have a safe place to share. I create a classroom that I intentionally meet their needs. If they aren’t met as people, [first], they won’t learn.”
But isn’t teaching how to navigate the social and emotional aspects of life our role as parents/guardians? All three say “yes,” but they also point out that this isn’t always the case.
“I am all for guardians to be the first teacher for students,” says A.R. “Home is where all of these basic skills can be taught in a very organic way. However, there are many children that don’t come from a background where these skills are taught.”
“Schools are social atmospheres. Sometimes these unwritten rules [of society] must be explicitly taught,” says A.M. “As a parent of a child on the Autism spectrum, I have quickly learned that these social rules are not so obvious to everyone and sometimes need to be directly taught both in their specialized classrooms as well as regular classrooms.”
Of her high school students, C.R. also points out that “if [teachers] can’t meet the needs of their students at the social-emotional level then no learning will get done.”
So what would the proposed SEL bills around the country mean for educators if SEL becomes a prohibited educational tool?
The impact of this would be significant for school counselors says A.R: “As a school counselor, I can’t even wrap my brain around what my job would look like; [not being able] to work with students individually, in small groups, or provide classroom lessons that benefit every child in the school. If I would still be doing those things, I have no clue what I would teach, unless we just turn into academic tutors.”
As mamas, we can do our part by teaching these skills at home. I grew up watching Mister Rogers Neighborhood and learned the importance of being a helper. Principles of social-emotional learning can be found in contemporary shows like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood
But, I also appreciate the fact that the character-building I am teaching at home is supported and reinforced by my kids’ teachers. My hope is that this partnership will help them to grow into socially and emotionally healthy adults who are empathetic, motivated, and resilient.
In what ways do you address social-emotional learning in your home?
