Have your friendships changed after you had kids? Have you had less time and a loss of friendships over the years? I hear so many friends comment on how hard it is to maintain or make new friends. You are not alone.
Motherhood can sometimes feel lonely.
Our busy home life, working, parenting, and 1,000 responsibilities and daily schedules pull at us like a toddler needing a snack.
As a mom or parent how often have you said:
My friendships have changed and I don’t hang out with the same friends now that I have kids.
My friends got married, started their lives, and moved away.
It’s SO hard to make new friends.
Am I socially awkward now (from talking to toddlers and living in my family bubble?)
I miss and long for friendships full of silliness and laughter from my younger days.
How do I make new friends or have a girl’s night out with so much going on?
Wait, do I even have any friends?
I went through a phase when I felt all of that all at once. I was sleep-deprived, had no energy, my humor tank was empty, and I was rocking nursing tanks and maternity jeans for 10 years. Motherhood taught me the value of alone time and being comfortable in my own skin. It forced me to find things that filled my cup. New hobbies and experiences to share with friends old and new.
If you feel like your friendship tank is low, look around you. Maybe it isn’t. Just like our bodies change from pregnancies, so do our friendships. It’s all about perspective.
Friendships defined as we grow:
Sweet Beginnings
The ones you grew up with in elementary school that had titles like “SBF” (secret best friend) or “FF” (friends forever). They knew you when you transitioned through puberty, applying loads of concealer over those new pimples or helping you create the perfect “bang curl.” They are the friends that move away, and you don’t talk for months or years but pick up where you left off. These friendships are timeless treasures of the heart.
College Friends
Friends from your glory days of limited responsibility, fun, and discovery. The friends who helped you through your quarter-life crisis of finding yourself. These friendships often follow you into early parenthood.
Work Friends
The friends who listen to your stories about little Jack and his first t-ball game. The ones that bring a cookie to brighten your day, leave sticky notes all over your desk, or even put snakes in your drawer. They are the ones that keep things light-hearted and bring simple joys.
Mom Friends
The friends from baseball, school, or gymnastics. They teach us all the tricks. How to organize an amazing snack bag while including backup chargers, all the emergency medications, and Band-Aids for a day at the fields. The school moms share relatable stories of parenting highs and lows, tips, and parenting hacks. They are like the real-life Pinterest board of ideas. Seriously, who needs Pinterest when you have mom friends?
At-the-Right-Time Friend
This person walks into your life when you need her most. The sunshine radiating, quirky friend that shakes you up and brings your fun side out again. This person gets you. She makes you laugh, pushes you, and inspires you. She truly is your “see the cup full” friend.
It takes a village to raise kids and that village is full of different friendships that pour into our lives. If you’re feeling lonely, just phone another mom. We can all relate on some level, and sharing our stories helps us realize that.
This world is full of mom friends that NEED YOU like you NEED THEM.
Originally published August 2023.
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of OKC Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
