It’s getting closer and closer to the start of school, and to be honest, I’m a little sad about it.
But if I’m being REALLY honest, I’m probably not sad for the reasons you’re thinking.
I’m sad because I’m excited about my kids starting school, and the guilt that that brings me is a little overwhelming.
This will be the first year my littles attend school 4 full days a week. It will be the first time I’m not toting them around to work appointments all the time or shuffling them back and forth to grandparents or daycare so I can go meet a client. It will be the most we will have ever been apart from one another on a regular basis.
And I’m looking forward to it.
As terrible as I feel saying that, I KNOW that it is going to be the best thing for all of us. As much as we all love and adore one another, we also need time away from each other. I can’t tell you how many times a week I think to myself “only X amount of days until they’re in school all day and this will be easier.”
You probably think I’m a monster for thinking that, but when your 5-year-old argues with the majority of what you say and your 2.5-year-old has 3 minute long tantrums because he wanted 2 skittles but you gave him 5, and you’re trying to field phone calls, schedule appointments & run a business while listening to that, it can be a little daunting.
I know the first day I drop them off at their new school there is going to be a lot of tears from all three of us, but I’m also looking forward to us missing one another and being so excited to see each other at the end of the day. I can’t wait for my boys to jump in the car after a fun day of school and tell me all about what they did, who they played with & throw 15 crafts in my face.
As guilty as it makes me feel to be ready for them to start school, I’m going to allow myself the grace to enjoy the school time to focus on my career, so that I can focus more on my boys during the non-school hours. Motherhood is all about giving yourself and your children grace, and this coming year, I think all three of us could use a lot of it.
*This post was originally written in 2021