Kids Don’t Belong at Concerts – Here’s Why

Earlier this month I did what I could never do in the 90s/early 2000s. I went to a Backstreet Boys concert. I left my house in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tee, light denim high waisted jeans, a yellow plaid flannel wrapped around my waist, and Skechers on my feet.

Backstreet Boys concert

Let’s just say I understood the assignment and was T H R I V I N G.

I don’t know what I expected, but when the lights went down at the concert, I transformed. So much so that when I showed my husband a video the next day, a concerned look appeared on his face before he asked, “Is that you screaming?” I’m pretty sure that collective screaming is primal, a rite of passage. It’s science; look it up.

The nostalgia was palpable. Bucket hats, MTV tees, and a lot of denim. The crowd looked like they were straight out of TRL, except now the crowd was mostly 30-45 and people were audibly groaning as they climbed the stairs. Nosebleed seats on 30+ year old knees? “Oh my God, my back again,” are the new lyrics to Everybody.

And it wasn’t just the crowd. The Backstreet Men did great, but there was less jumping around and gyrating, and more water breaks and talking to the audience about the 30 years they’ve been together.

The most shocking revelation is that I know way fewer words to these songs than I thought. However, I will never not be shocked that these lyrical masterpieces I sang at 8 years old are, in fact, not appropriate. I’m sure you can relate unless you were listening to ‘mmm bop’ and in that case WE ARE NOT THE SAME. 

(Just kidding, go find the lyrics to that song right now. It’s giving heart wrenching, but make it upbeat.)

Why were we obsessed with Nick? Have y’all seen Kevin?! Skip being a snack ~*we’re adults*~ the man is a whole charcuterie board. Or a butter board, if you’ve seen that trend. 

Speaking of obsession…did you know that the frontal lobe controls memory, emotions, impulse control, problem solving, social interaction, and motor function and isn’t fully developed until age 25.

That’s enough for me to never let my kids go to concerts with this level of fandom.

The part of your brain that prevents mass hysteria and flinging your undergarments through the air like candy at a parade isn’t developed until your twenties, folks.

Did I want to throw my bra? SURE. Do I think that Kevin made direct eye contact and was singing to me? Well, he was. 14-year-old me would have been trying to recall the 90-minute blackout I just experienced and justifying my soul-wrenching love for a boy with a middle part. Instead, I came home and took two Excedrin with a large glass of water before washing my face and falling asleep next to my husband. 

That, ladies, is seeing a boy band in your 30s.

Tell me the first band member you thought you were going to marry in the comments. Maybe we’ll get enough people to sign a petition for N*Sync to do a reunion tour.

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Hi, I'm Kay! I'm easing toward my 30s, making a life with my best friend and raising babies in the Great Plains. Here are some popular ways I've been categorized: ENFJ, Slytherin. I have confidence in Jesus and therapy, un verre de vin, and time spent in nature. Follow along @thegoodsahmaritan.

1 COMMENT

  1. I went to the concert as well. I was 13 years old when I first knew Backstreet Boys in China. Always dreaming about going to their concert one day. Now 25 years later, I saw my idols finally. I felt like travelling through time and space to come to see them. The concert restored youth and great memories from my teenage years.

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