Mixed Messages To Millennial Moms

millennial moms

I’m a mom of three kids, and I am a Millennial.

Do I feel like a stereotypical Millennial? Nope! In fact, when I told my husband that we are Millennials, he didn’t believe me and I had to prove it to him via Google. A Millennial is typically categorized as someone born between the years of 1982 and 2004.

Now, I’m definitely on the older end of the spectrum. I’m an “old” Millennial if you will. I fall into the same category as people who grew up with smart phones, but I was raised in the days of landlines and dial up internet.  

Raising children in this day and age is HARD. It seems like us “old” Millennial moms Just. Cant. Win.

We’re bombarded with conflicting information and our parenting choices are scrutinized.  One second judgmental snapshots are posted about our lives everywhere, which makes raising children in this day and age a little murky and complicated. 

Raising babies and mom-ing children with the world of information and opinions at our finger tips is risky business. Read through a baby book, chat with your girlfriends, or scroll through a forum about any given topic and you will end up more confused on the subject than when you started. 

Without further ado, here are ten mixed messages that millennial moms are bombarded with on a daily basis:

1. Hop in the picture mama, but not too many. Geez, you’re so narcissistic.

2. Watch your kids closely and constantly. There are tricky people lurking among the aisles of Target. But not too closely. Come on, helicopter mom. Calm down.

3. Get yo’self to playdates. Your kids need to develop social skills the minute they exit the womb. However, children’s friendships are too forced these days. Let them make friends organically like when we were kids. Except don’t let them ride their bikes or play outside with other kids in the neighborhood. You don’t know those kids! Do you even care about your children at all?!

4. Don’t worry so much about buying organic food. You grew up on Kraft Mac n Cheese and you have a refined palate don’t you? But for the love of all. Don’t feed your children red dye number 9! You fed your baby puffs?!! You. Monster.

5. Rock your mom bod! Be proud of your tiger stripes! But not in a bikini. Never. I repeat never in a bikini.

6. Millennial Moms are too child-centric. This is ruining marriages, damaging future generations, and is throwing off the Earth’s gravitational pull. What? You want “Me Time”? You can’t pour from an empty cup?  How selfish. Millennials only think about themselves.

7. Children these days lack discipline! The next generation is unruly! But never tell your children no. Don’t use time outs unless you want to pay for endless years of therapy. You refused to buy your child a toy at Target and now he’s CRYING? I’m calling the authorities.

8. Don’t forget the sunscreen! Even if you don’t go outside, your children should be completely coated in sunscreen. Hello?! Sun rays come through the window. Duh. But there are deadly chemicals in sunscreen, so take caution when you use it and always read the list of ingredients. #knowbetterdobetter

9. Breast is best. You can legally feed your child anywhere! Know your rights. But put those girls away in public if you have any decency at all.  

10. Babies do not spoil. Hold them. Rock them. Co-sleep. Except don’t. They need to self-soothe. 

Ultimately, I suppose a lot of these issues are about one thing: balance.  So many parenting issues are gray when the world tries to make them black and white.  

So my fellow millennial moms, if you’re left scratching your head trying to figure out this parenting gig, have confidence in your choices.  Ignore the haters and confusing advice and take solace in this one true fact – YOU, my friend, are an amazing mama. 

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I grew up in sunny California and moved to Oklahoma to attend college. That is where I met my amazing husband, and now we are here to stay! I live in Blanchard with my husband and three kiddos. We also have two standard poodles who we all adore and consider a part of our family! My family likes to stay busy, and we are always on the go exploring Norman and OKC. I love to write, and I document my adventures on this crazy journey of motherhood on my personal blog!


  1. Oh man, I needed to read this today. I’m stuck in the “Children love routine because it makes them feel safe and stable, but you can’t be too rigid because that’s not real life and they need to learn to adapt” quagmire. Ugh.

    • They need both! They do!

      Like, my daughters both LOVE their daily routine during the week. They wake up, eat breakfast, chill for a bit, get dressed and go to daycare. Then they come home for a snack, play for a couple of hours, we sit down as a family to dinner. More playtime, then baths, book, and bed.

      They both THRIVE on it.

      But on the weekends I routinely take them with me to random places I go because they love that too! I go to Barnes & Noble, get a coffee, and let my kids go to TOWN on Thomas the Tank Engine and Lego tables while I stay nearby and actually take a deep breath for ten minutes. And if we try to stick to the house and a super rigid routine on weekends they go nuts and get cabin fever.

      You have to take every piece of advice with a giant mountain of salt and figure out what works best for YOUR kids, what helps them thrive the best. Maybe your kids hate Thomas and Legos but would love to go to the playground every week. Or maybe they hate playgrounds and want to spend their weekends building pillow forts instead.

    • Yes this! My daughter thrives on routine for sure! But then I’m told that I’m being too rigid and need to “live a little”. Do you want to come “live a little” at 3am when she’s a hot mess because she didn’t nap well during the day.

  2. This article is spot on for raising children today, but has nothing to do with being a millennial, except for that maybe the author forgot OLD LADIES like me have babies too (I’m 44 with a 3 year old.) ???

    • Didn’t forget that there are moms of all ages! I was just writing it from my own perspective which is that of a Millennial mom. I’m sure moms from all different generations can relate to many of these ?

      • Well no actually if you have a child right now that’s the thing that’s why it’s about Millennials because anybody that’s older than a millennial doesn’t usually have kids right now if you were born before 1982 then your kids are the Millennials and you don’t have kids anymore because your kids are probably right now the age you were when you had them so you’re not in the having kids stage anymore so this applies to your children not you but if you have children and you’re older that’s fine that’s just why it’s called mixed messages to “Millennials ” but the thing of it is my mother was raised in the 60s and 70s she had a whole different upbringing than I did. But at the same time she raised me to understand that you look left and right when you cross the street and when there was a car coming and you were riding your bicycle in the street you hollered at the top of your lungs car! And every child that was also playing in the street got out of Dodge to the nearest driveway for the cars to drive through or you’d be hit because people don’t care to look for you and you did not go down the street where your parents couldn’t see you you stayed with your little tiny circle of friends next-door and across the street and you did not go down the street without your mom’s permission because she could not see you and there were not softens in that day so mom could not have a way to call you if she couldn’t find you because she did not know what house you were at and you would get your butt spanked which was punishment it does not mean that you are a crappy child or that she’s a crappy parent and she’s not hitting you it drives me effing bonkers that people do not know the difference between spanking and hitting and that these Millennials God for bid I have to be labeled a millennial’s but the thing is anybody that was born after 93 has this idea that it’s hitting and you get is mixed messages punish but don’t punish your children how to be respectful but don’t getting your kids business and tell them what to do and is always mixed messages. a child is a brat you spank them and you put them in their bedroom and you talk to them and you discover very quickly if they are just being a brat or if they have autism and they don’t understand there was a time when I was growing up I hit my sister in the face because I thought I could and I got grounded and I did not understand what I had done and my mom thought I did and she did not get why I had done that because she clearly thought I understood the difference and I was grounded and there wasn’t any discussion and after one day she discovered after my crying and crying and begging that I was sorry she understood that I did not understand and there’s more to it than that but that was basically the cherry on top that got her to discover my aspergers. people are smarter than they give themselves credit for people understand the difference between autistic children and a brat there’s a difference and it drives me nuts that people act like they don’t know the difference and it drives me nuts that people always say you can’t spank a child that’s abuse how do you know they don’t have autism well you can tell the difference it’s obvious and it makes me mad that people play that game just so that they can get out of punishing their children and that’s what makes their kids treat them however they want to like that video on Ellen where the little boy says Linda Linda Linda look it ! And she says I’m not Belinda I’m your mother and he says Linda Linda Linda look it look it Kind! he needs to be told that’s not you talk to me although that video was really funny and cute but at the same time he needed to be told do not talk to me like that I am your mother not Linda I would’ve instinctive I had called my mother Daniel and not mom . I did that one time because my mom was ignoring me and I had called and called and called and called her to attention and finally I said Danielle and she said what do you want!? I am not Danielle I’m your mother what do you need!? And I said well I finally got your attention and she said that’s not how you talk to me. I remember being at the library with my dad when I was 12 and he was picking up a book while I browsed . I don’t remember what happened except he said something I didn’t like and I said I hate you and he turned around and spanked me in front of everybody at the library and I told him he can’t do that because I’m 12 and I’m too old for spankings and he said you’re not too old for spankings and I told him I was embarrassed in front of the people and he needs to stop and he said he hopes that I’m embarrassed it’ll maybe teach me a lesson and then he put his book down and never got it and we went home and I got grounded. and yet I see these parents all day long at the library where I work that let their kids do that stuff. One kid screen that is mom all day long and his mom bent down and brushed his four head to get the hair out of his face and she shushed him and he kept screaming and screaming that’s not what he wanted and the mom said no in a very nice tone and he got angry and she said no stop it we’re not doing that we are going home now and he screamed and threw a fit and ran around and she didn’t do a thing she just tried to console him as if he had a disability and it wasn’t his fault but it was obvious because I have a disability and I can pick up on those things like a radar he was just screaming and throwing a fit because he was five and he wanted the book and his mom was trying to scan it through the machine and therefore he did not comprehend that he would get the book back after she scanned it he wanted it and he wanted it now and she kept telling him to calm down he was gonna be okay he would get his book back but if it were me as the parent I would’ve said noyou’re not getting the book actuallyand I would’ve given it to the library and to unscan so that we can leave it at the libraryand not take it with us even though I had already scanned it Elletts mount mine to take home for three weeks I would give it to the library into unscan and tell the boy now you don’t get it and you’re going to take a nap even if he says I don’t take naps or whatever I would say too bad you’re taking a nap and I would give him an ultimatum about taking a nap because he’s not gonna win that battle he’s taking a nap because he doesn’t talk to mommy like that and that made me mad that the lady did that she just let him take the book. the age and date that kids are being born into right now is a horrible one I don’t know if you can consider anybody born after 2004 to be a millennial I don’t know according to one reader it was 1982 -2004 so what do you call a kid born after 2004? I was under the impression that 1982 to current is Milenio and that there really hasn’t been a name for anybody after 2004 yet that anybody current is a millennial they need to come up with something for the kids after 2004 if that’s really truly when it stops but anyway anybody born after like 96 really seriously is on a different level . My sister is a 93 baby and I was in 88 baby and we were slightly raised a little different I was told not to go down the street where I couldn’t be seen or I would get a spanking and be grounded and my sister was able to go a little bit further without being told that she still couldn’t go that far but she was allowed to do things I couldn’t do she figured out pot and mom and dad weren’t that concerned and she had an older boyfriend and mom really wasn’t that concerned but if I decided to have a boyfriend mom would kick my butt . But at the same time she still had boundaries and wouldn’t know the difference between a lot of these “snowflakes ” she understands the whole thing about the snowflake safe spaces and the buttercups and she would never act like that and she would never be a teen mom and We went through what it was like to be poor growing up and we had to learn Santa Claus wasn’t real early when we suddenly didn’t get Christmas presents one year as a little tykes and mom had to explain that they were sent out because how do you explain that Santa doesn’t have any money to afford Christmas he’s Godlike to a child he can give you anything Knows what you want even though you don’t write a letter to him asking for it he knows . So we had to be taught early. And we were humbled by this we loved watching the Santa Claus trilogy and miracle on 34th St. etc. etc. but the thing of it was we understood the difference that Santa Claus was fictional but we didn’t hate Santa Claus it wasn’t like the character and miracle on 34th St. where she thought of Santa Claus as fake and stupid before she learns the truth we didn’t think of it like that we just were logical about it and we understood that mom and dad gave us presents and I never said from Santa but we still loved Christmas and love getting presents when we could. Kids these days are all about me me me and parents never punish so their kids have a complex there’s a kid at my 2nd job at my daycare. That literally tried to pull the fire alarm and she did it with a smile and a giggle and my coworker caught her doing it and hollered at her before she could fully pull it and he hollered to sit down and he got my boss who said she knew better and to put her in the timeout seat and she has to wait for her mom and then we called her mom who said ” why does my child sit in timeout with no book, no friends, no attention?! ” She wanted the higher up the boss’s boss and she wanted to inform them that’s not okay to never ever do that again and child went away not learning a thing. right now there’s mixed signals on what you should do what you shouldn’t what you can what you can’t and that’s what this is about not so much Millennial versus not millennial it’s really anybody who birthed a child right from 1999 on. it’s basically about the mixed signals and it’s really sad to say that I’m part of the millennial group but I am. but I was raised at the very front of the millennial deal just before home phones started to become obsolete. I had to go play outside and if I came in and out and in and out I was told you’re staying inside and you have to do laundry with your mother and I would cry and beg my parents I will do anything to get out of that my parents said I gave you a choice and you chose to not take it the choice was stay outside and play or stay in and do laundry and obviously you chose laundry by not letting the door stay shut and I was told go next-door and knock on the door and ask if they can play wasting my phone bill when you live 7 feet from the next-door. not so much the answer anymore. feel such a disconnect from the people from the generation I am sad to be part of. I’m ass again what this is all about the disconnect there’s a miss communication right now we are at the beginning of the millennial deal where we technically are considered a millennial but we don’t have the same behaviors or characteristics and we were raised a little bit differently because we still have phone lines and a lot of us didn’t have computers yet and a lot of us still had TVs without remotes and a lot of us still did not have cable and had to go push the button on the actual TV and a lot of us still played outside on bicycles. and a lot of us still had to say yes ma’am and yes sir and only get so many hours for TV time and had to go to bed by 9 o’clock etc. etc. and our kids or if you don’t have kids the younger ones than you that are like 95 on the current have different rules even though you are said to be in the same generation as them. mixed signals because you are said to be in the same generation but there’s such a disconnect with the way you were raised as opposed to the way kids go to them you are being raised they really technically need to cut the line at like 95 or 96 or 97 and say that’s the end of the millennial’s kids anybody from going on a different generational name because we don’t fit with them and it’s funny that we are in the same generation and have nothing in common with them and our behaviors the way we were raised the things we like to do the shows we watched how we played outside and these kids nowadays only play on their tablets and they scream at their parents and they get bored easily and they have no imagination. that’s the funny thing about that that’s why this post is because it’s funny the irony.

        • I was born in 1979 and my child is 5 years old, so no, not everyone born before 1982 is going to have adult children 😉

        • Dude, I’m 37, not a millennial, and my kid is 2.5. Not everyone has kids in their late teens and early twenties. I have pretty much the same types of experiences as anyone else raising a kid in this day and age. These things are not millennial-specific.

        • So there is an entire generation of pre-millennial women out there having babies in their late 30s and 40s. Meaning we have kids 5 and under right now. I guess it just depends on the circle of people you run with, but I know lots of women my age with young kids and babies and only a very few with grown children.

        • I’m not a millennial. I’m from Generation X and I have an 11 year old. Everyone who has children now feels your pain, and trust me, it’s more than millennials and we have the same conversations and questioning the messages we receive. However, I think millennials may be even more conflicted because you are at the age where everything that is wrong with the world is because of you. Trust me. I went through the same talk when I was younger and now I get to hear my generation say ignorant things like that. Like they totally forgot what it was like to be a young person. People can’t handle change because they don’t spend enough time exploring themselves and their emotions and become authentic. That’s where tolerance and understanding comes in. That’s where bonds and connections are formed. We have enough division in the world and I don’t want to take away from millennials and the frustrations you feel right now, but this is something that more than millennials can empathize with. Here’s some sound advice as a Generation X of an 11 year old daughter. (Yes, I had her later in life.) In the end, realize you are the mom. You do what you feel is best for your children. That’s the only thing that separates millennial moms from us generation X moms. We hear the conflicting information. We do rumble with it, but in the end, it’s like this crap will not help me be a better parent so trial and error. Trial and error. No one is going to do this perfectly. For the person who said that they couldn’t have any conversations with their Mommy friends, that’s a fine art that’s being lost. Talking about working Moms, breast feeding, etc, is fine so long as you can be tolerant of different opinions than your own. There is good and bad in every one of these and I’ve had these conversations with other people my age and younger and so long as you are respectful, it can be done. 🙂

        • What. O_O

          I couldn’t get through this comment (page breaks and punctuation are your friend)… but I can assure you that 36+ (gen x) is still of child bearing age. We have young teens (not millennials), preteens (not millennials), kids, toddlers and even new babies! (none of which are millenials).

          I don’t mind that we weren’t specifically included in the author’s essay because I think we all understand that this is a fairly universal experience in parenting. It is however pretty eye rolling that you (the commenter, not the blogger) apparently think only millenials have children right now?

          PS My friend two years younger than me is a millennial and has a son who is ALSO A MILLENIAL. Is your mind blown? ?

        • I couldn’t read through your comment because it’s so long and one block of text (ditto others – paragraphs and punctuation are helpful).

          “that’s why it’s about Millennials because anybody that’s older than a millennial doesn’t usually have kids right now”

          I am 46 and I have a 4 and a half year old. Most of my friends have kids in their early teens or even into their 20s now. But please remember, there are a lot of folks who are “older” parents (sometimes by choice, sometimes not by choice). True, like, Britnie said, she wrote it from her perspective as a Millennial mom, but it definitely applies to me. More societal attitudes towards what’s “right” to do as a parent. It’s amazing how conflicting all the expectations are! I keep trying to remember what I was able to do as a kid, and am hoping I can allow my daughter the same freedoms. 🙂

          Britnie, thanks for putting this into words. 🙂

    • I agree! I am 52 with a 22 year old and a 3 year old! Yes they are both mine! So the issues have more to do with the times and society than the age of the mom…

        • Yep it is! Hubby is a Generation X Dad I guess I am technically a millennial Mom I was born in 87 and he was born in 78. Have an almost 12 y/o daughter from a previous marriage and my husband is Dad to my daughter and he will be adopting her shortly. I restarted my life and am happy now and our son will be born within weeks ? I totally see the frustration bc it seems no matter how you parent your kids someone will always tell you your wrong. I say do the best you can and everything will be okay ??

  3. This is more to do with having children at this time in history, not how old the parent is. I’m genX with 3 under 5. Even though I’m not a millennial I do hear, see, and get told all of the same things.

      • This is kinda more proof of your point that millennials are always wrong… you literally cannot even share your own experiences as a millennial without an older generation pulling the whole “yea well we…” thing. And they do not even notice.

  4. I’m currently stuck in this shame spiral & it was so nice to read it’s not just how “I feel”. That these conflicting messages are so easily seen now with smart phones & all the apps.
    Remember when MySpace was big & facebook was obscure? ???

  5. Love this! I have baby boomer parents and hear this ish from them and their friends alllllll the time. But technically, if you were born between 1976 and 1983, you’re a Xennial. We’re too young to be Gen-X but too old to be Millennials. As a 1983 baby, I’m totally embracing the new title. 😉

  6. That last paragraph is a summation of millennial thinking – everybody gets a trophy. Not everyone is an amazing mom. I see it everyday in my profession as a social worker.. Listen to moms who have come before and don’t believe everything you read on the internet. We must build up the millennial self esteems with articles like this one. You love to write. What are your qualifications for giving parenting advice?

    • I believe that the majority of moms who are concerning themselves with the things that I mentioned in this article are striving to raise healthy and well rounded children. And (ironically enough) before becoming a SAHM, I was a social worker.

    • What a nasty comment. If this is how you interact with people sharing their perspectives, it’s time to take a break from social work. (licensed mental health clinician here, in case you’re wondering about MY qualifications)

    • I think you misunderstood her intent. Her point is there are a million and one people who want to tell you all the ways that you are screwing up your kid, but it’s rare to find someone who will telling you that you’re doing a good job–even when you are. Ironically, its all the people who aren’t qualified to give parenting advice that she’s calling out in this article. She’s not telling anyone how to parent. She warning mom’s that you will never make everyone happy.

    • Listen to the mom’s that have come before Joanie?!?! Yet you go on with your self righteous comments asking her what her qualifications in parenting are?!?! I’M PRETTY SURE THAT SHE STATED THAT SHE HAS 3 CHILDREN OF HER OWN… IF THAT DOESN’T JUSTIFY “QUALIFICATIONS” FROM REAL, ACTUAL EXPERIENCE then please do tell me all about those “parenting coaches/ teachers” that have learned to be parents ONLY through text books and “example scenarios” and NEVER actually had/have children of their own, just the same as the 95% of social workers today!! ? What are your qualifications besides that you have a “social work degree”?! Because I know MANY social workers that A. suck at their “jobs”….. B. Think that they know what is best for ALL, ANY and EVERY child/children, EVEN THOUGH THEY’VE NEVER BIRTHED OR CARED FOR CHILDREN THEMSELVES….C. Remove children that shouldn’t removed, but leave abused and neglected children for the abuse cycle to continue…. D. So much more that I could go and on about “the system” and those that continue contributing to its dysfunctions instead of doing the right and human things!!! You see, “by definition” I’m considered “a millennial” as well unfortunately!! I was born in 1983, a whole different world and upbringing than that of the likes of today… Thank God! Also “by definition” MY CHILDREN ARE “MILLENNIALS” which is preposterous the say the least! My children were born in 2002 and in 2004, and are now 13 and 15 but were and are raised just as their father and I were… Respect, manners, compassion, SELF RESPECT, positive thinking, open conversations and dialogue about ANY and EVERYTHING, because TRUE PARENTS know that TEACHING and LEARNING BEGIN HOME….and we know that those were “the good ol days” before the world went crazy and insane, worrying about peoples feelings and genders etc. instead of other peoples rights as well!! Everybody wants be treated equally while at the same time they want and care only about THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS (which we ALL also posses, but they can’t and won’t realize or recognize this FACT) but then want the rest of the world to do so and respect their rights ?, as you seem to have that same attitude Joanie!! Just like most social workers of the world today!!! Social workers believe that they are above the law and twist and make up their own laws as they go that fit their agendas!! (TITLE 4-D money, Google that, you’d very surprised) Talk about pot and kettle!!! Smh… Thank you for your article Britnie, I enjoyed it!! Although thankfully I did have to deal with these types of “humans” in my children’s upbringing!! My family, friends and even strangers compliment us regularly on my children’s behaviors, respect, manners and so on! It makes us feel good that we have done a good job and succeeded thus far, and are putting good humans out into this screwy world! Good luck on your journey and don’t allow others opinions to stump your progress or change how you feel is the best way to raise YOUR CHILDREN! Just keep in mind that when your done raising them, the world has to deal with the humans are ?? keep on keeping on… Seems that you’re doing a fine job ?

    • What total nonsense. First of all, in spite of how supposedly toxic the “everybody gets a trophy” stuff was, millenials are doing great! They’re high achievers, self- advocates, volunteer in greater numbers than previous generations (including mine) are more tolerant and inclusive, and are starting to act like steady, responsible adults now that they’re reaching the age of steady responsible adults (while in the past, idiotic news headlines loved to negatively compare their normal high school or college aged behaviors with expectations of people in their 30s. Millenials are doing fine, even with a lot of practicalities stacked against them (astronomical home prices, insane college loans, shrinking workplace benefits etc).

      2nd: “Everyone gets a trophy” never came from the millenials anyway, so it’s ridiculous to call it “typical millenial thinking.” It came from their parents, mostly gen X and Boomers.

  7. Omg definitely needed this this morning. I spent the weekend getting flack from family that I wasn’t taking enough pictures for them to see him growing up, then getting made fun of by friends for being a mom who takes a bunch of pictures.

    • My immediate family has a private Facebook group that we post the millions of kiddo pics that they want to see so my friends don’t think we are nuts. It’s actually made a closer as a family in some way cause all the time daily we are sharing what is going on.

  8. With my fellow millennials, I’ve been blamed for everything from the decrease of Harley Davidson sales to the fact that Applebees is floundering… I can only imagine what I’ll be blamed for as an (older) millenial parent when I have my first in a few weeks. Thank you so much for writing this… it honestly eases the stress to laugh about it. 😀

  9. Love this. So on point! I am also an “older millennial” and own a private pediatric practice. Since I am “young” in the owning a pediatric private practice world I hear ALL THE TIME for the older generations all the stereotypes about the millennials that work in their practices…until I set them straight. Us Millennials get such a bad rap!

  10. Funny because it’s true… sadly. Wait, no, it’s not. I mean, it is! I have (another) one to add: “NO SCREENS EVER. It’s going to rot your kid’s brain. If you don’t let your kid play with your iPhone and iPad, he will be so behind in school because it’s all e-learning now.”

  11. There is no standard definition of any generation EXCEPT baby boomers which were born after WWII beginning in 1946 with the last born at the end of 1964 (this is a US government definition only). Generations are generally considered to be 20 years in length give or take. That means that the generation immediately following the Boomers (almost universally called Gen-X) were first born 1/1/1965 with the last born 12/31/1984. The next generation (almost universally called Gen-Y) would be 1/1/1985 through 12/31/1994. Millennials began being born 1/1/1995 and continuing through 12/31/2014. The current generation, which has not yet been named by the media, began being born on 1/1/2015 and will continue through 12/31/2014.

    I have no idea when the author was born, but unless it was after 1/1/1995, she is Gen-X or Gen-Y and is likely raising millennials or what ever the current generation is going to be called.

    Also, generations are 20 years, give or take, not 30 years as the author states regarding 1982 to 2004. This is an anthropological thing and generally relates to the number of years between healthy repopulation. Anthropologically speaking, having about 20 years between parents and children is the healthiest community.

    Couldn’t read the rest of the post because if the author cannot get her introductory paragraph even close to right what are the chances anything else said has merits.

    Oh, and her husband was right.

  12. Hey Elspeth, 1982-2004 is 22 years not 30, and please tell me what kind of generation goes backwards from 2015 to 2014? Sounds like you need to think before you type, or maybe you shouldn’t type at all as you have nothing accurate or constructive to offer.

    Even if your source provides different years, there’s no need to be a bitch about it.

  13. You are a Xennial, according to theSkimm, a newsletter targeting Millennial women.


    The generational odd men out. Refers to people who are too old to be millennials and too young to be Gen Xers. Born between the late ’70s and early ’80s, they didn’t have the Interwebs as kids but went digital as grown ups.

    Do you Skimm? You can sign up for the newsletter here: https://theskimm.com/?r=c90ee7d7&utm_content=S1

  14. Can we not just get a good chuckle about how all of us who are moms to littles right now can relate so hard to the conflicting messages from society and media and doctors and every f’ing source of information that exists? Good grief, it’s a blog not a medical journal entry. Why are you bickering over the accurate definition of millennial v gen-x, and credentials for parenting advice? Jesus just have a laugh and move on! Britnie, so much yes. And regardless of what kind of pallet/palate you have, I suspect your kid(s) is/are doing fantastic. Cheers to previous social workers turned SAHM. Amazing we have to justify ourselves as if SAHM is the only role we’ve ever had? 😉

  15. My mindset from day one was to follow my parental instincts and do what feels right. Unless we’re harming my child, it’s no one’s business how we raise him.
    This article is so accurate, it hurts. The unsolicited advice and judgment is so contradicting, it’s confusing. What do these people want from us?

  16. Well, with all of these negative, judgemental comments…I think you can safely say they you have a topic for another article. Some people were too busy trying to “be right” that they totally missed your accurate point on the daily struggles of a mom in this generation. Maybe it can be about women cutting each other down, or people who hide behind the internet to say rude things to complete strangers. Keep doing what you’re doing!!

  17. There is a micro generation called “xennials” or “the Oregon trail generation” that most of us older millennials really belong to. Not really gen x but def not millennials

  18. Actually, we are called “X-ennials”. (1978-1984) Millennials are from 1985-1996 not 2004. Stanford & other universities have done studies & xennials is fairly new since we were being grouped with GenX ers that were born 10-15 yrs beforw us.

  19. I enjoyed reading this. I am also and oldish millennial. My husband and I with our 4 boys and 3 cats just moved to Oklahoma from California. We are living with my parents while we get settled and it has been intresting with all the coments on what our kids should be doing when both from inside the home and outside.

  20. I heard the older millennials are starting to go with Xennials, to combine with generation X. I fall into that category too. I think it makes sense as society and technology is changing more rapidly that generations are shorter too.
    But anyway, you missed my most frustrating one! Making mom friends! Everyone complains that they have no mom friends. They are so lonely. But you better not ask moms if they are done having kids, it they’re pregnant with a girl or boy, do they work, do they breastfeed, how far along they are, etc etc insert all the questions mom are “sick of hearing”. Well geez, I don’t even start a convo anymore because there’s nothing approved to say!

  21. I guess my question is, WHY do you feel confused and judged by other moms?

    Why not look at other people’s posts and be happy for them, or look for some inspiration? Why not approach it with “good for her not for me” attitude.
    I guess I am confused to why you as a mother don’t put your phone down, make your own conclusions about your child and don’t expose yourself to things that bother you.
    The issue I believe is not with everybody judging you, the issue is how you respond to things.

    In general I think people have become more sensitive and take things that were not even meant as judgment, but an honest attempt to share special moments, as a direct offense to their parenting skills.

    So I agree to a certain degree with this article. We are exposed to a LOT of information and opinions. I think instead of being confused, keep an open mind.

  22. I’m not a mom but I do babysit a 2 and 3 yr old every day so I know some of the struggle. What I get from this article is that there is a balance to everything you do as a parent and you have to figure out what the right balance for you and your child(ren) is.

  23. My wife and I just had a second child (3 week tomorrow) and people can’t prepare you for how hard it is to transition from one to two. It’s completely confusing knowing how to disciple our two year old because he is acting out for attention. Every child is different and hat works for one parent or child doesn’t work for the next ten. It’s so easy to go in circles.

  24. I’m a LCSW and I am sorry for the rude remarks of so-called social worker above. I liked your article and i am a baby boomer. I think times are tougher to raise children as the world is entirely different as some of the comments shown here. Thank goodness not all people are bad in the world. Technology is a necessary evil. Keep writing!

  25. I loved this article until the end. There are times when it’s appropriate to question yourself as a parent. Kids everywhere suffer when a simple suggestion could have helped. Healthy communication is the key. Not every person who has experience is a “hater”. Why not encourage open mindeness and proper communication. There is a difference suggestion g a child is worked with or read to and nitpicking. I say don’t hesitate to stand up for a child if something is wrong.
    Not everything is all or nothing but co-signing bad parenting by saying it’s no one’s business is not conducive to ensuring there are checks and balances. Some parents need to know someone is watching.

  26. I am a Gen X. Believe me you could apply this list to the messages sent our way while raising kids. I think it is a tale as old as time. Criticism of others is just human nature. Raise your children your way and ignore what others say.

  27. Yep, pretty much like ya all the time!! I personally would love add one more to your list: Work. Your kids need to learn how to work to grow up to be adults that aren’t dependent on everything from you and a drag on society. So let those kids get their hands dirty and do chores. Eww not the trash! How dare you MAKE your kid take out the trash! Do you know how hard it is for a kid to lift a bag all by themselves! And they could get dirty and sick from touching garbage all because YOU were too lazy to do it! Shame on you, kids aren’t your slaves! Argh its so frustrating!

  28. “You fed your baby puffs?!! You. Monster.” Hahaha, yes! So true! All of this! I completely agree…the best approach is to do your best, and what works for you and your family, and to stay away from the internet for all things parenting. Comparison is the thief of joy, so don’t worry about what others say or do. Thanks so much for sharing!

  29. girls, have to say Im also 38(1979), have 3 kids 4y,2y and 7weeks baby. Another thing, I am on the other side of the world, somewhere in Europe in the midle between the East and west Europe, but the same things are here.Exactly the same. We, moms, try to connect to the world on the internet, but then there are so many different advices about same questions and make us feel insecure about our methods of parenting, about acting with Our,just Our kids, kids that we made, that we born, that we are raising and paying and should know best what is the best for them, should know better than animals, which by the way dont read, understand or take any advice from anyone.But no, we forget everything and we become confused about something so natural like we are, our kids, our parenthing and our lives and thats just sad!

  30. As a fellow “old miennial” working mom of five, I definitely struggle with many of these issues. We’re overloaded with contradictory “advice” on a daily basis.

    One of my biggest struggles is with balancing enjoying the present with working for the future. Our family is on a mission to hustle our way out of debt so we can semi-retire. We’ve got plans for an epic cross-country road trip that will be an amazing experience for everyone. However, to get there, we have a lot of work to do over the next couple of years. I worry about missing special things during that time.

    It seems like every day I see both messages to live in the moment AND to work hard now for a better future.

    I guess we just have to do our best to follow our hearts and have faith that we’re making the best decisions for our unique situation.

  31. Britnie I have just had this conversation with a friend/millennial/midern family member. I am too from ’86 but I don’t identify with the characters so typical of The Millennial. So I’ve started a blog all the way here in Cape Town South Africa! @drinkingcoldtea

    I haven’t followed too many bloggers because I haven’t wanted to read their stuff, but your stuff makes me feel! Awesome and thank you!

  32. As a 35 year old Mom with a 14, 13, and 10. I so can relate. I have worked so hard at this Mama position. Working not working, each kid is so different same rules don’t apply because each is their own. It is funny the older they get to hear Thank you from them as they hit life moments where the years of running around like a chicken and hoping I am doing my best. Actually worked on stuff that sunk in. We might have all the info at our finger tips but what works best for you us what is right.

  33. I have a 1-year old, and these messages are literally swimming around my head each day. Keep nursing…no wean… sing-along clips…NO TECH… stay at home.. go to work. Thank you for the helpful post! It was so refreshing!


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