December is done,
The New Year is jolly.
We’ve hung up the tinsel,
And packed up the holly.
It’s time to start fresh,
That’s what they say.
But I truly believe,
That’s a choice everyday.
With the holidays behind us, many turn to the New Year as a chance to change things up! “I’m going to eat healthier… keep my house clean…save more money… take more vacations… make more people happy” and on it goes!!
Everyone holds the coming year to such a high standard, and in my experience every year throws us a curveball that derails all those promises I made January 1.
I’m a perfectionist by nature. My personality is highly motivated by lists, organization, and a “plan”. My husband teases me for having lists OF MY LISTS! And it would be funny, except it’s true. You’d think that I would enjoy dreaming up a new year and putting it all in a beautiful little box in my planner, but here’s the thing: I hate New Year’s Resolutions. They have never brought me joy, and that’s why I resolved to never make them again.
Why I Won’t Promise to Eat Healthier
My relationship with food has been rocky at best. I’ve struggled with my weight since I was in middle school, and not in the way most people perceive the battle of the bulge. My war with weight is to keep it on. To maintain a healthy relationship with all foods, at any size. And not just for my sake, but for my daughter’s, too.
Having a little girl completely ruined me for ever making physical changes a “goal” – any time of year. I’m not, as far as I’m able, going to continue the cycle for her. She will grow up seeing me eat bacon and bananas, Krispy Kreme and kombucha. The choice to keep a balance is not something I can afford to make only once a year.
Why I Won’t Promise to Save Money
Finances are the biggest stress of #adultlife in my opinion! They start the most fights and end in the most tears. Every year since I got married I’ve tried in vain to start a “Money Saving System” each January. And every March I realize that all my organized efforts get derailed by this or that thing. And I end up defeated and feeling like I’m failing at the finance game.
Life with three kids, a mortgage, cars to maintain, and activities to get to on top of the many other household expenses is a juggler’s dream and a mom’s worst nightmare. I cannot bring myself this year to make another plan, to write another budget, or to check my bank apps daily only to be reminded that our life is not what I pictured it to be. It’s more beautiful and more challenging than I ever could have imagined! And it has nothing to do with the amount in the account.
Why I Won’t Promise to Make Others Happy
It is not my responsibility, or yours, to make everyone happy. I read a Facebook article recently titled, “I Can’t Be Everyone’s Chick-Fil-A Sauce” that brought home the idea that you’re not going to make everyone happy, and it spoke such peace to me! I have spent so much of my life trying to be everyone’s favorite flavor, but in the process I lost who I was.
I will no longer make it a priority of mine to make everyone happy. Because then I’m not happy. And you know what they say? If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” There’s a lot of truth to that, and it doesn’t just come in the form of “keep me happy, or else!” We are responsible for our own well-being and happiness mamas, just as much as the next person! Give yourself grace. Allow yourself to take me-time. And realize you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s okay!
What I WILL Promise is this…
I promise to keep choosing to enjoy this life and this time that I’ve been given, to keep bettering myself for my own sake so that other’s will see the abundant return. I promise to devote my efforts to raising good humans, giving grace to myself and to my husband, and rolling with the punches as best I can. I promise to laugh a little more, worry a little less, and love a little harder.
To me, New Year’s Resolutions imply that you weren’t doing your best the previous year. And maybe that’s true, but it’s the choices we make every day that determine the success of our goals, not a list scribbled in a planner on January 1st.
Do you enjoy making New Year’s Resolutions?