Dear Families, Give Moms Some Grace This Holiday Season

If I could earn $5 every time someone told me to not stress out over the holidays, I could pay for most of the Christmas presents.

The last two years have been much easier as I get into the groove of things, but I still think about the mental breakdown that occurred my Christmas as a new mom. But let’s be real, it never stops! 

I’m a people-pleaser, and the pain of leaving someone unhappy or feeling left out kills me. I’ve been learning to cope with this toxic attitude, but until then, can y’all give us moms some grace? 

We’re scrambling to make our homes welcoming and beautiful for the Thanksgiving celebrations and Christmas morning jubilee. And if it’s not at our home, then we’re rushing children out the door (that refused to wear the bow you got them to match their holiday dress!). When you have families that aren’t local, you must decide who gets which holiday, and whether it’s feasible to do two houses/celebrations in one day. 

Then come the phone calls from upset aunts and grandparents who feel slighted about not getting to see you or your kids because you chose the easier option. Oh – and half the time our husbands are giving little input because so much of this falls on our shoulders. We’re fighting to get an opinion but usually, it’s “Do what you think is the best, dear.” 

Most of all, If you are looking at the calendar and hyperventilating at the mess that lies before you, I need you to know that you can say NO. Look, I’m being a big hypocrite for saying this, but the truth is that you should celebrate with who makes you feel the most loved! Don’t break your neck for those who can’t find it in themselves to celebrate Christmas on January 2nd.

If the idea of having an intimate Christmas with your family unit sounds ideal, then tell your family that. They can bring the turkey dinner on December 26. 

I could get in trouble for saying this, but you don’t have to stick with the status quo! If you are feeling pressured to stick to tradition for the sake of tradition, that’s not celebrating the holidays; that’s fulfilling commitments. I once heard “traditions are peer pressure from our ancestors”. Don’t get me wrong, I adore spending time with my family over the season – but sometimes it feels like we can’t win for losing.

Give yourself some grace this season and ask your family to do the same. 

Previous articleBirthday Party Etiquette: 4 Things You Should Know
Next articleBreaking the Cycle
Hi! I’m Jessie! Born and raised in Central Oklahoma, I am currently enjoying suburban life with my toddler, husband, and a sweet little terrier. I love diving into anything nerdy from engaging in a fantasy novel to playing a tabletop game with friends. I love to make people laugh. Catch me watching a football game, making cookies, or painting dinosaurs with my daughter. My struggles once defined me, but now they help mold me. I want to lift fellow mothers who silently suffer in the shadows. Chronic illness and pain are invisible, but very real. Our battles are tough, but our resolve is strong. You’ll never see me hide my tears, and neither should you.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here