Maybe you’re one of those blessed women who was born into “best-friendship” when your mama and her (somehow also lifelong) bestie got pregnant at the same time and raised you alongside each other. Perhaps you serendipitously stumbled upon your best friend when you were knee high to a grasshopper while attending the same preschool. If that’s you, go ahead and thank your lucky stars!
But, if you’re like the other 90% of us who have had to rediscover how to meet new people as an adult, it can be challenging to dive into this uncharted territory of making friends for *ourselves*.
Here are a few ideas you can use to discover your soul sister that’s out there waiting for you just on the other side of the Whole Foods aisle.
- Check Out Your Local Library
Most libraries offer storytime for babies and toddlers, which is a great opportunity to meet other new moms. If you have older kids, check and see if they offer STEAM classes or have a maker lab- not only will your kids’ lives be enriched, but it’s an excellent place to find other moms with similarly aged kids looking for connections.
2. Cruise the Local Facebook Pages
Don’t be afraid to get specific in your search! If you’re into wellness, search your area with the terms “crunchy moms” or “holistic moms”. Maybe you’re a little unconventional and like to speak your mind; see if there’s a local “uncensored moms” group to plug into! If you’re a single mom, there’s probably a local group for that, too. The more niche you get, the more likely you are to find your people. Don’t be afraid to reach out and schedule a meetup- someone’s got to do it, why not you?
3. Hone In On Your Hobby
Are you a book lover? Check with your local independent bookstore and see if they have recommendations for book clubs. Super crafty? Take a class at Michaels so you can meet other women with similar interests. Many times cities offer recreational leagues for various sports, which can be an excellent way to create organic friendships with people who enjoy doing the same things you do.
4. Ask Someone In The Know
Most places have a business or two that’s always “in the know” about the happenings of the town. Since we’re moms, I’d recommend tapping into the knowledge of your local baby store or women’s boutique and simply asking them what other people with kids do for fun around your area. You might find some new places to check out and naturally socialize with other local mothers.
5. Do It The Old Fashioned Way
Now, you’re not gonna like what I have to say next, but I have to tell you anyway: sometimes we have to take a giant leap out of our comfort zone and simply… approach other moms in the wild. I know, it seems so awkward and uncomfy, but honestly, it’s the best way to make a new friend. Cruising the aisles at Target and see a mom with a gaggle of kids as wild as yours? Steer your semi truck of a cart over to her and strike up a conversation! Out at the playground and see another woman pushing her baby on the swings? March on over and introduce yourself! It sounds so counterintuitive when we live in this society that makes being vulnerable seem like some terrible weakness, but truthfully, it’s the only way you’ll ever form a genuine friendship with someone else.
The reality is, most other moms are just as hungry for connection as we are. It’s so easy to assume everyone else has it all together and think “she probably already has 100 friends, so why bother”, but you just never know. In this day and age it’s easy to put on a smiley front all over social media, when you could really use another mom in the trenches with you, even if it’s just to text about how insane your kids were all day, and how you might snap because your husband took longer to poop than your 3rd baby took to be born and made you late to church again.
So my challenge to you is this: next time you see a mom that looks like someone you might be friends with (and honestly, even if she doesn’t- you never know who you might click with), take the chance and say hello. When you end up with a girlfriend who enriches your life and pours into your cup the same way you’re willing to do for her- it’ll be worth all the initial discomfort, I promise.